To everyone who donated to my Go Fund Me that helped fly this crazy soul across the world to have "There and Back Again" heard by the Hobbit production team, and to everyone who gave me counsel, prayers and couches along the way, I can only say that you have drawn forth within me an immeasurable gratitude and a sense of value, that not only is what I am doing important, but supported. Thank you.
Well, here is my an update on "There and Back Again": For the last few months, I have been reaching out to every direction I could to get this song heard. A wonderful entertainment lawyer who believed in the song, came to my aid pro bono and began pushing it for me, as well. Dallas Comic-con came and went and I was able to put the song into Elijah Woods and Sean Astin's hands. So much love and action went forth into this journey, yet it is in the journey I must find my accomplishment and what I have become because of it. As of last week, the Hobbit announced that Billy Boyd (Pippin) would sing the closing credit song for the last movie. It is fitting; he will do a fantastical job, yet one day I will crush the little halfling with my fingers! I mean, I will shake his hand in admiration. =D
I feel utterly Blessed by the whole experience. I have accomplished more than I could ever imagine. I stepped out of the bonds of my fear and flew. For that, I am free. Well, now I and am ready to move forward into a new purpose. Thank you all again from the whole of my Soul. Check out below for what is on the horizon! Here comes a new album!
NEW ALBUM: I am excited to announce that I have picked up the studio chalice and well into recording a new KatsüK album due out early 2015. The culmination of many experiences, this album genuinely defines the essence of what KatsüK is, an organic conscious musical movement. These are the words of a stranger I met briefly that helped define the thread of this new album, "There are too many songs cursing the darkness, and we can yell of those things and fuel the hurt, but honestly, I just want to hear music that makes me feel alive." I smiled at that knowing that I do too. So that has been the direction of this album. Themes regarding moving through the labyrinth, finding our own song, standing by each other, spiritual ecstasy and being courageous enough to leap into the Light. Supported by an amazingly talented group of musicians that have brought a very rich depth and meaning to the sound, I could not be more excited to share what is on the horizon. Be on the lookout for the first single "Open Sea" coming very soon.
Thank you for tuning back in for the last part of my trip there and back again. After nearly 8,000 miles, 6 days, multiple time zones, some poached eggs and a fresh shower, there I sat in my car in the parking lot of Park Road Post in Wellington, New Zealand gazing upon the culmination of a magnanimous effort by so many people. It was here in this building where every Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movie has been completed for the world to see and now I was here with a dream in hand. Nervous, and not quite ready to walk in, I drove down the street and sat next to the ocean, feeling the cold and salty wind dance around me. Pulling out my notebook, I re-read my 100 reasons for taking this quest, as I had done many times over again, followed with a prayer that I would not let anyone down and I would muster the courage to be heard. At times I had felt very alone on this trip, but suddenly I felt an overwhelming love and support emerge in my heart. It was you, everyone who had heard the song, felt my conviction and believed enough to help me be here, whether monetarily or in prayer. For everyone of you that day, thank you for sharpening my sword.
Driving away, I listened to There and Back Again as loud as my little car would allow. I could feel once again the validity of this quest bounding through the speakers and my heart, a call of arms lighting a fire within me. Pulling up once again in front of Park Road Post, I took a deep breath, grabbed the letter I wrote for Peter Jackson and 3 burned copies of TABA and marched through the door to the sound of trumpets!
It was beautiful inside, lush wood, soft whites, comfy cushions and doors that led to unknown creations. "May I help you," the voice sprung from the reception desk, snapping me into mission, I answered "Yes you can" and walked over to where she was sitting. "By the love of many people, I have flown here from Texas to give Peter Jackson this letter and a CD. Can you ring him, please?" She was a bit stunned, either by the confidence beaming from me or the ridiculous notion that anyone can just walk in and see Peter Jackson. "I have a strong feeling that he is currently out of the country right now... You know, people really don't just see Mr. Jackson." She replied. "I understand and expect that. Honestly, I have come a very long way and what I feel I have is important. It is a closing credit song for the last Hobbit movie and I am doing my best to make your search much easier. Is there anyone I can talk too?" With that, she picks up the phone and calls down the Head of Sound for Park Road Post. To not step on any private toes, I am going to avoid using names right now until I am at the Grammys sipping Cristal from my flipflops. =D Anyway, after hearing my story, he apologized and replied, "I am very sorry, but we cannot receive this CD from you. When the movie comes out, if it sounds like anything like the song you gave us, we could be sued for plagiarism and so we simply cannot receive anything unsolicited." I knew this already, perhaps it was a foolish gamble, perhaps I was hoping to see Peter in the lobby or at the public toilet, but nonetheless, I was supposed to be here. I asked through what channels should I go and was given some ideas about how to go through the fiery hoops of corporate creationism. I thanked them for their time and the receptionist, seeing my disappointment handed me her card. "Call me in the next few days and I will see if there is an email that I can direct you to." It was very sweet, and I thanked her, but honestly, I was a bit crushed and walked out. I must have sat in my car for an hour wondering if I had done enough... if I was just a naive fool... I followed the pull, I took the leap, why such a deadening end? I gave myself a day to mourn. Just a day. The rest of the afternoon I spent walking around downtown Wellington in hopes of finding some answers, some direction that could help me leave New Zealand with a sense of accomplishment.
As the sun set, I grabbed my guitar and sat upon the corner strumming, watching people going to and fro. Souls from all over the world, born of different ideas, ways and reasons, all moving towards some unknown goal of their own passed into oblivion, some giving smiles, some giving change, some giving cheesecake. All someone who might no someone that I should know. In my thoughts I wished that all may find what they are looking for.
The next few days I spent busking on Cuba Street, handing out CDs, in the process, meeting some wonderful people. One being Michal Lotan, a very talented singer from Isreal. Check out her stuff HERE or the video below.
Wellington is truly a musical city, which understandably attracts musicians from around the world for the life and spiritual essence it imbues. How beautiful it felt to be in a city that loves music and makes it so easy to access it. Another singer I would love to share with you that ran up and traded CDs with me and disappeared to her own street corner to busk was a girl named Mimi Gilbert. Beautiful stuff. Check it out HERE or the video below.
Many blessings to you, Maestras. Here is a view of the park that I slept in and woke to while in Wellington. Not too shabby.
Now two days before my NZ gig at Valhalla, I walked into an open mic at a club called Fringe to help promote. After hearing the bearing of melodic souls, some for the first time to a listening crowd, I put my name on the list. Everyone was given three songs and I got up and burst forth with everything I had. I could feel my spirit refreshed by this and told everyone of my journey, afterwards handing out nearly twenty CDs of TABA that would go to wherever they may go. At the end of the first round of performers, the host informed everyone that the bar had picked a "Winner." Come to know, this was a competition that awarded a $25 bar tab to one lucky individual. This individual whom wound up being me. Though I feel competition has no place in the arts, I cannot deny the fact that this helped me feel as if I might just be on the right track. Some people go their whole lives not knowing their purpose or serving the purpose of others. It is a life of misery this creates, a sublime undercurrent of mistrust of the world and unnecessary challenges that pulls into void. Thankfully, my purpose was too loud to be ignored within myself and even though being an artist, especially a musician is one of the hardest careers to make a living out of, I am thankful I have found it. Knowing your purpose, doesn't remove challenges. In fact it actually streamlines them for clearer visibility. I pray we all find our Purpose here on earth. We need you!
Throughout the next few days I spent most of my time street performing and passing out flyers on Cuba Street leading up to my gig at Valhalla Tavern.
At no time on this trip had it felt like a vacation, though I enjoyed most every minute of it. Instead, I have never felt so diligent in all my actions. If I was tired, I pulled myself up and went to play. There was no way I was going to leave NZ with any CDs of There and Back Again left. Every stone would be turned. The only thing we have is to give it all we got. And that I feel I did by the amount of people that came out to see the show.
First up was AJ Crawshaw, a powerful singer from Wellington followed by Emily Fairlight who soothed the room in its shoes. Please take a moment and check out their music: AJ Crawshaw & Emily Fairlight. Love and Gratitude guys for helping make the evening stupendous! I had nearly given every single CD of mine away by the time of the show, but was able to give a few to great gaggle of WETA people that showed up. To know that so many people were there associated with The Hobbit felt very rewarding and that night I slept well by the side of the sea curled up in the back of my rental car. Thank you Wellington for showing me such a good time! Hope to see you again very soon!
The next day I decided to begin the long road back towards Auckland, but before I left I needed to go to WETA and take the tour. Here are some pics where I just barely survived being stewed alive by trolls:
And with that, it was time to leave Wellington...
Here are some pics of my journey back to Auckland...
Right before I left for New Zealand this picture below kept appearing in many of the sites I searched. Unintentionally, I just so happened to pick the road that led right to it! It is a glowworm cave, but they are not really worms, but maggots that have a bioluminescence in their butts that turned the top of the cave into a maggot galaxy. Seriously, one of the coolest things I have ever seen! For a bunch of maggots, that is.
The glowworm cave was one of my last things to see in NZ before the sun fell and I pulled into the airport. After a wonderful adventure to one of the most beautiful places in the world, it was finally time to leave. Sitting on board of the plane, I sang my mantras and thanked everyone who helped me get there. Even though I felt as if I had accomplished a lot from this journey, I could sense that something still needed to be done that yet remained. It would come, but for now... sleep...
Leaving NZ Saturday at 11:55pm, my plane arrives the same day at 10:30am. For awhile there I was living in the future! It's bright. You're gonna wanna wear shades. Upon arriving in Honolulu, my good friend Chad picks me up at the airport and gives me an option: Go back to the house and rest or go to a rally against Monsanto. Well, considering any opportunity is a great opportunity to join in on saving the planet from the vileness that is Monsanto and their ilk, we opted to go down to Waikiki and do our part. If you still do not know anything about Monsanto do yourself a service and do some research.
Afterwards met this amazing Banyan tree...
Day of rest and snorkeling on a reef that was once a volcano. Yeah, swam in a volcano!!! Crazy cool.
Visited a few Native Hawaiian ceremonial sacred sites...
On Memorial Day I was moved to write this while visiting Pearl Harbor: "I feel to have a standing army creates a desire to use it. It is too much power at too very few insatiable hands to not be turned into an aggressive force to seek their will. This has been demonstrated over and over for thousands of years. Still, I woke up with a strong desire to see Pearl Harbor this morning and honor my grandfather who survived WW2. Love you, Papa. In truth, the only way to end war is to stop joining it. People will rise up to defend themselves and land if provoked so why build something that is meant to destroy? When your whole life is set on training to kill, how disappointing a life of peace may seem. To all veterans of the world's wars, may you find the light of peace your heart and mind deserve. I cannot imagine to have experienced what you endured. For now on, let the leaders cage fight it out without the people as their shield. Govt has not shown to care about veterans after their war so why care to join their cause before? In gratitude."
Here's a pic from the show in Honolulu. Thank you Kevin Jones, Anna O'Briens and Star 101.9 for having me and Chad for putting it all together! Thanks buddy.
Beautiful Hawaii...
With a parting rainbow on the day of my flight back to the mainland, Honolulu gives me a lovely farewell...
After over two weeks of one of the most amazing adventures of my life, I made it back home to my daughter, my lovely lady, friends and family. Above is a picture of two beers from the Shire that I will wait to crack open WHEN I get the call that TABA will be in the net Hobbit movie!! The finest in the Southfarthing!
I could not have done this without your help. From the whole of my Being, I thank you for helping me get There and Back Again. Since I have been home I have been given word that TABA was passed onto the music supervisor of The Hobbit, as well has been heard by the two main visual designers of The Hobbit and all the Lord of the Rings movies! I will continue with this blog until December updating you on the process and how things are unfolding. To everyone who contributed to my Go Fund Me, thank you so much!!!! I will be sending out your rewards very soon. All my love to you. No matter what comes of all this, I know I have done my absolute best. Knowing that and living as fully as I can in the pursuit of my dreams, I am a success. Now, give me a ring, Peter!! =)
When we last left off, I was in Honolulu about to leave for New Zealand. Well, much has happened since then, as I find myself once again in Honolulu awaiting my 11pm flight back to the mainland today. Let's catch up, shall we?
Standing in line at security, it may have been the Hawaiian humidity but I could feel the beads of sweat forming all over me, creating a delightful aroma for the person i would be sitting next to on the plane. You're welcome, my friend in seat 29B. Flying to NZ has been one of the biggest goals of my life and here I was about to board a plane to that goal's end. It was a long flight over the endless blue Pacific underneath, but finally we touched down in Auckland on the north side of the north island. Shortly before I left, Brynn and I had dinner with a wondrous couple Angela and Doug who introduced me to Scottie Richie, an amazing artist living in Auckland who met me at the airport and thankfully drove us in the rental car back to his house. At that time of night I wasn't quite ready to learn how to drive on the left side of the road. Check out his artwork HERE.
The big thing in the Pacific seems to be Karaoke. It is an wide sweeping epidemic over there so without much hesitation off we went and before long, I mustered the gumption to sing some R.E.M. to all the kiwis. It was a beautiful introduction, and I was given a warm welcome. The hospitality of New Zealand was evident in the first person that I met, in the fact that Scottie gave up his bed so that I could get some good rest. Thank you, brother! Well, after a slow rise in the morning, a good breakfast and stocking up on some food at the store, I headed out in my rental car towards Hobbiton, the site of the Shire.
It was late when I arrived so I decided to pull over on the side of the road a mile before the film location. I watched as the full moon careened over the sky illuminating a mysterious valley. This is the view I awoke to...
I could not help but burst into tears at the site of this sunrise. It felt as if I was watching the clouds transverse over the Misty Mountains of Middle Earth. Everything I had heard about New Zealand was true. I am in awe of such creation and feel as if on this trip, I miraculously stopped in the right places at the right time as a mysterious gravity led me down the most perfect roads. New Zealand had been waiting for me, as much as I had been awaiting her. A quote I have always loved is "What you are seeking is seeking you with the same amount of conviction you push towards it." This is true. Life wants us to succeed, but we only succeed by the conviction of our thoughts and deeds. Whatever we desire and put our whole being into achieving, wants us to achieve it as well, for the mere fact that life desires what we desire. For it is in this achievement that we grow and become more of our actuality.
Pulling my jaw off the ground, I drove down to the Shire. I was the first to arrive and as I sat there began talking with a family about our joy of being there. The father, proud of his daughter relayed that she worked at weta as a visual artist and so one of the first interactions I had was someone associated with the studio. I gave her a cd and wished her well. Hope you enjoy it, Vanessa. Tell me what Pete thinks! =) Signing up for the tour, we hopped on the bus and drove down to the site. Here is what I captured:
BAG END!!
Samwise (Banazîr) Gamgee's house!!! Unfortunately I couldn't fit a CD in his mailbox.
Concluding the tour at the Green Dragon Inn, we were greeted with mugs of cider and the best beer in the Southfarthing. Brought two of those bad boys home with me to open when I get the call that "There and Back Again" has been picked to be in the Hobbit: Battle of 5 Armies. So May It Be.
After leaving the Shire, traveling down H1, I came across some very interesting roads...
Sadly, there is a huge lumbering industry in NZ and when they replant after clearing, they create these rows. The sun is nearly blocked entirely under the canopy of these massive pines, so it created paths like this into a black unknown. Could just imagine a Nazgul riding down these lanes. Didn't stay long! =D
Below is a picture from the trail of the river leading to Huka Falls near Lake Taupo. Here's a video that best represents the immensity of these falls (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqDdqZ4lWoU). This was a beautiful walk through the woods on a trail surrounded by giant pines. This trek would have been a little better if the softest grass my feet have had the pleasure of knowing all of a sudden didn't change to a gravel trail with an hour left into the hike. Stopping often to eat from the wild apple trees, I finally made it to the falls close to sunset. The sound was a choir of angels playing in a speed metal band and the color of the water was this aqua blue velvet Elvis jumpsuit. Mind totally blown, i begin walking the trail back. My feet at this point are beginning to puncture open from the gravel, so I begin singing a few mantras i had learned a few earlier in Albuquerque. As I began singing, all the pain in my feet ceased and all was left was the song, the wind in the trees and the waterfall disappearing in my ears. I knew the personal mantra given to me at that retreat was powerful, but now I understood. Music, vibration in harmony with intention has the power to overcome any trial. I could not help but laugh when I finished a mantra and the pain would return to my feet, yet quickly silenced again in a new mantra. Reason number 1,342 why I am a musician. Moving on.
These are the two mountains (Ruapehu and Taranki) I passed after leaving Lake Taupo above or Lake Town as I called it. This is considered New Zealand's desert. Oh silly kiwis. See you in Texas! Still, utterly breathtaking! Below the mountain on the right, which I called The Lonely Mountain, but it is actually Mt. Taranaki where they filmed scenes of Mordor. Yeah, that's Mordor!
And after spending four days traveling slow in my car, getting out every 5 minutes to allow my mind to be completely blown away by the land that is New Zealand, I reached the pinnacle of my Quest, the post production house for the Hobbit, Park Road Post...
More to come... Thank you for following me on this journey thus far. Check out the next blog coming at you soon. Until then, may your life be filled with joy of your dreams. Love I you.
After a flight to Portland, an overnight in the airport and a long jaunt over the ocean, I arrived in Honolulu Monday afternoon. Looking out of the airplane window I was reminded of the love of others. To everyone pulling together, backing me in this quest, thank you. From this picture though, I don't know what the woman has in her hand, but it looks like a pooper scooper for a bear. I'll take this as an omen to watch my sheeit! =D Or merely to be continuously reminded on why and especially HOW I am here. I am here because of the sweet graces of you, the magnetism of this quest and I feel extremely blessed and protected by an unseen Force that is guiding me along like an arrow from a bow of surety. After arriving in Honolulu, I was picked up by my good friend Cap'n Peaches and after a well needed nap, we went to check out the club I'll be playing at May 26th in Hawaii on my return, Anna O'Briens where we heard some wonderful singer/songwriters. After a few beverages the day closed into dream. Upon awakening, we hopped into the car and began the long circle around Oahu. My first memory on this planet was watching Star Wars at the drive-in movie in the back of my dad's red pickup. The second was coming to Hawaii when I was three and witnessing the most luxurious abundance of color this new body had seen through physical eyes. It left a profound memory within me of seeing a place abounding with such life and now I have returned, laying over for a night before the biggest quest of my life. I feel as if I am standing on the precipice of the unknown, that every action is a flower that may turn to fruition. Daily my intentions have been set on prayer and mantra, continuously focusing on my intention and purpose for leaving to New Zealand. Yesterday, was spent in full immersion of the beauty that is Hawaii. Rocking Medicine For the People on the radio, we paralleled the ocean and found our way to the north side of the island, strangely called "Northside." Walking amongst Banyans, finding fresh ginger in the jungle, sitting in waterfalls, we finally made our way to Waimea and watched the sun set into the western sea. We talked of the seasons of life, just as the sun set and rises again, so does opportunity in our life. If something is supposed to happen the sun will arise again for us to see the door. The door is open and here I come! Below are a few pics I have taken thus far to chronicle this adventure. I hope you enjoy. You are with me. Today marks the day that I leave for New Zealand... My plan is more of a blue print of an idea of what I would like to see what happens. I have a direction and am leaving myself open for miracles. Today, I just gave a CD of There and Back Again to the lead actor of Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy coming out in October. I am continuously amazed at all the little things happening, ladder rungs to manifestation of this Quest. View from the house I am staying at in Honolulu. "Hey, how about we found our city right next to this giant fuckin' volcanic crater? What can possibly go wrong??"
MORE PICS BELOW
The giant Banyan Prince and Princes of the jungle
"Roots Natty roots. Dread Binghi dread. I and I are the roots. Some are leaf. Some are branches. I and I are the roots." ~Bob Marley~ The Valley of Jurassic Park, King Kong, Godzilla and any other flesh eating super giant monster movie... To the person with the "WEED" license plate on the back of your car, you got coconuts of steel.
More to come! Thank you for following me on this adventure. Please share THERE AND BACK AGAIN with your friends. Love I you!
Many moons ago I set out to disappear in New Zealand and began hitchhiking across the country to the west coast where I would hop a boat and make my way to the enchanted land of my dreams. Life however, had different plans for me then and sent me back to North Texas though the thought of New Zealand has never left. Today I am thrilled to say, I purchased a ticket to Auckland, New Zealand by the grace of many people who love and support me in this endeavor to get my song “There and Back Again” into the last Hobbit movie! I cannot be more grateful than I am now and feel so blessed that you believe in me. Thank you.
For the next week I will be tying up all my loose dream catchers for travel and preparing for the greatest adventure of my life so far. Though I did not reach my Go Fund Me goal, I know that Life will provide for me on the way. My guitar will be on my back, so there is always a way. One of my fondest memories of hitchhiking was not necessarily anything that I saw or heard, but a feeling that came over me when I realized I was truly on my own. I had no ties, no bills, no responsibilities, just the road and the ever-winding present. It was a feeling of complete non-attachment I have been searching to find ever since in love and music, a present that unfolds by deliberate action, past karma and the awareness of one’s surroundings. I know that God always leads in the direction of our highest purpose and so all we need to do is stay awake enough to see it. I am awake and alive, moving in the direction of my dream. A dream that seems nearly impossible, but for some reason feels as if success is the only option. Measuring success by accomplishments is fraught with disappointments, but measuring success on the learning in the journeying will always yield a reward. Something wonderful will come of all this, yet it already has. I feel extremely loved right now and grateful for everyone who has sent money, love, prayers and support of any kind.
Thanks to my friend Capn’ Peaches I am flying half way to Hawai’i for free. Also I will be playing my first show in Hawai’i on the way back. To culminate the experience of going to New Zealand I have booked a show in Wellington, the city where they are doing the post production of the last Hobbit movie and will be promoting my ass off for it. I already see that a few people from WETA (CGI on the Hobbit) will be there at the show! I am letting go and letting God. If you know of anyone in New Zealand please send them this FB INVITE or just click JOIN and be there in spirit.
This Saturday will be the last show that I have before leaving. It is my final fundraiser for this, perhaps ever because being in a state of asking is difficult and I am ready to be on my way. Here is the INVITE for the show this Saturday at Nos Bar in Azle. As well, if you still like to donate to my Go Fund Me, please donate HERE!! I have raised $2500 of a $4000 goal, so anything you might help to contribute would give me a little wiggle room. Thank you from all my heart. I’ll be updating this blog on my adventure so tune back in. Until then… CHEERS!!
What can I say about yesterday, but awe inspiring greatness… Woke up and had a wonderful interview on 88.7 The Good Show with Tom Urquhart and Chris Bellomy discussing all that was involved in this quest to get “There and Back Again” in the last Hobbit movie. Thank you, gentlemen; it is always fun to catch up with you guys and the brash laughs of early Saturday morning delirium.
After we played the song, we spoke about the direction of this quest and as we did, it became clearer and clearer to me the modality of my actions and thoughts. Often I have been told by a few people in the music industry that this is not how one normally goes about it, but I have never been one to do what is normal. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I have struggled for so long, but I know something rewarding will come of letting the music speak for itself and inspire the desire for fans to share with others. In regards to not doing it the “normal” way I do not want to blacklist myself for coming at it differently, so I will continue to move it through traditional means, hoping the song goes viral by being spread by loving friends and fans and reaching out to publishers to pick it up to pitch it directly. As well, consult with an entertainment lawyer on all the ends and outs. It is a very complicated business, dizzying to the mind that is wired to create, but I will tackle this with the veracity of Dick Butkus, who was described as “Moby Dick in a goldfish bowl.” The main difference is that rather than knocking people’s heads off their body, I desire to knock the industry off it’s feet in a way that is authentic, humble, respectful, unique and true to the person I am.
Later that afternoon and after talking with a friend who just returned from India and feeling her enthusiasm of a life changed through daily miracles, the second wonderful thing happened. A vision came to me, sitting in meditation in front of the post production house in New Zealand, with a stack of cds of “There and Back Again” visualizing a conversation with them. Next to me was a sign that read “Many lovingly supportive people flew me 7,568 miles to share with you this song for Hobbit 3. It deserves to be heard. Thank you.”
I know they are very busy right now working on the movie and I feel I should honor their place and not follow people around like a beggar. I will cross the ocean and stand in the middle of the bridge. The half they must traverse would be merely stepping out the door and receiving this song and I sitting upon their lawn. This may seem crazy or fool-hearted, but along with every other digital thing I am doing, it feels very respectful to honor their work and privacy, simultaneously making myself available. Many things are happening. Something is pushing this forward and I will go with it with all me gusto. That same afternoon a very talented friend Kristin from the Bhakti House Band texted me that her and her husband Randall were in the recording studio with Allen Astin, the brother of Sean Astin who played Sam in the Lord of the Rings. “Come over and give him a cd! We’re recording so just drop it in the mailbox.” So needless to say, I was in the car immediately. Twenty minutes later there was a stack of “There and Back Again” cds and my last album Zero Point, in their mailbox with personalized notes to Allen and Sean. One of things that began this journey was a song called “Song of Banazîr” that is on Zero Point inspired by one of my favorite Tolkien characters, Sam Wise Gamgee or Banazîr in Hobbiton. I only know that because my sister Kelli, sensing my nerdity bought me a Tolkien encyclopedia a few Christmas’ past. Sam was by no means the smartest, strongest, most talented or beautiful of the characters in Tolkien’s world, though one thing stood out to me that put him in the highest regard in my mind; Sam’s unwavering devotion to his friend and to what is right. In the LOTR Sam comments to Frodo that someday they will write a song about Frodo and Frodo replies that he would much rather hear a song about Sam. I agreed and so I wrote him a song. The chorus in “Song of Banazîr” is what inspired me to re-write the tune so that it would fit better with a sound and instrumentation befitting Middle Earth; one that would resonate with Bilbo’s journey to the lonely mountain and back again. To give Sean Astin “There and Back Again” and “Song of Banazîr”, a song inspired by Sam and his impeccable performance of him was a dream come true and a huge movement toward getting the song heard. I am continuously amazed by all the miracles/doors opening right now, which leads me to the show last night.
First of all I want to thank everyone who came out and lovingly donated to the Cause, especially Brynn for allowing us to host it at Elemental Yoga and Joe and Christin for donating their valuable time and energy to practice and perform with me. Slowly and surely I am reaching my goal of $10,000 which will go to getting me to New Zealand and putting “There and Back Again” on a double album. It was a truly powerful night in many ways. Playing with Joe Vee on harp, bells, clarinet, flute and percussion and Christin Duke on violin and harmonies has been a wonderful remembrance of the way I have always meant to sound. I feel a renaissance returning to me that was brought on by the sound captured in the recording of “There and Back Again” and our show last night.
This year has begun in such an impactful way, beginning with moving on from the group that I had been playing with for a few years. As fun as it was and as hard as it has been to go through this change, there was something lacking and that lack was only my own disconnection with my purpose. For many years now I felt a need to really let loose and a deep seated anger was calling for release so during that time I attracted the people and means to really help facilitate that. We rocked!!! It was exhilarating, but as this weight was lifting something was coming to the surface, a genuine desire to return to my acoustic core. It is what I am at heart, what I have always been but got distracted from in the belief that I needed to be loud for anyone to hear. I know now that I did not need to be loud at all, I just needed to be myself, people will listen when one is being their authentic self. For the last few years I had heard “YOU GUYS ROCKED!” but something I heard last night that validated the feeling that I am moving in the right direction is someone saying, “that was a very powerful spiritual experience. Thank you.” No, thank you, Monica. That is all I have ever wanted to do was create an experience with this music that moves the Spirit in others. I finally feel I am on the right track again. Now, I am bringing together a group that is spiritually and classically founded. I hear a tribal symphony supporting this music: stand-up bass, cello violin, winds, harp, bells, acoustic, drums, percussion, harmonies and different organic world instrumentation that feels as if we are in an epic soundscape of cinematic magnitude. It will wrap around you like nothing you have ever heard, yet familiar as a devout lover. I could not be more thankful to all that is unfolding in my life and for the people that are in it. Yesterday felt as if Great Spirit was truly leading the way and after many laps through the labyrinth, I am listening. I am listening.
My goal is to leave for New Zealand mid May and stay for two weeks, camping and eating pbjs most of the time to not incur any major expenses. The more I save on this trip, the more I have to put toward the release of this new album that I know you will absolutely love and will make your other cds jealous. Haha! Soon I will get an iphone device as well, so I can add some video action to these blogs so you can see the adventure unfold with me. Thank you again everyone who came out last night, everyone who donated, everyone who has shared the video, everyone who has donated and everyone who has helped in any way. Shit’s gonna happen! Already is, as a matter of fact! =)
Authentic transparency is what binds us together. Cleverness is a rouse we use to feed the ego’s insatiable appetite for more. I do not choose to be clever here, nor do I choose to create a sense of need when so many are in need, real need; a need that ties their/our lives to a continuous thread of survival. I do however know there is an unknown gravity that pulls with the veracity of stars in the direction of this dream and all dreams. I cannot say from where this gravity comes from that pulls me onto this new path, I just know that the times I have heeded it, curtains pull away to new vistas unimaginable. This is what I am choosing to embark on now, following this gravity, this magnetism to whatever end.
I came to Tolkien not of the books, but the movies. Soon afterwards I began reading the Hobbit. It took a few tries to get past the innumerable names that felt like reading the end of Genesis, but it was the beginning of something fantastically indescribable. This man, Tolkien wove together such picturesque universes that my mind remembered it as a far away home and awed at the complexity of what may arise from thin air. Ages of history of a world distant but dear to heart flowed forth to fill the imaginations of many. This began the fire within me to write a book of my own travels in which synchronistic in nature involved going to a place called New Zealand in the winter of 1997. I had seen a few pictures of this miraculous place in books and felt that this enchanting double island was one of Earth’s last oasis’. So my friend Michael and I stepped out of our door with $300 to our name, determined to reach this promised land; promised because the gravity had told us so. Once we reached the borders of Texas, my friend was unfortunately arrested and I was left alone on the road. With just enough money to buy some food, I began hitchhiking around the southwest trying to find my direction and winding my way to New Orleans in time for Mardi Gras. Along the way, something found me that I did not know I had: a voice. Something wanted to speak through me and music was its modality. I gave in, returning to Arlington Texas where I joined a music group called Spoonfed Tribe and had many wonderful adventures with them touring the country. The thought of New Zealand subsided into a wishful impractical someday. Years later, shortly after reading the Hobbit, Lord of the Rings and having a dream in which I was shown to write of my travels, I felt inspired to begin the process of putting down a book describing the journeys of naïve youth. Naïve for the fact that it was a time of truly stretching the self into the Soul it has always been. Still stretching today, I have re-written this 300 page book five times and though it is still unfinished and unpublished, it is a statement of who I was and am. The reason I feel I have not completed it is because I have not completed experiencing the story as of yet. There is no finish line in infinity, so no story is ever really completed, but there are chapter changes in creative evolution. Another reason for my reluctance in putting it out there is the fear of transparency, the fear of illuminating my struggles, lack of self worth, failures, mistakes and the shadow of my self for all to see. Yet, I am choosing to be transparent, because I cannot afford not to be and every footfall is a foot forward if a lesson is learned. I know that every joyful moment in my life came from letting go and that is why the main theme of this book is about mustering the courage to leap knowing the universe will hold out its arms to catch us. One day I hope to share it with you, but now I must finish the cycle of the story. That is what brings us today and the writing of this blog.
Once again this powerful gravity has emerged in my heart to go to New Zealand and share a song I wrote called, “There and Back Again.” This time however, the gravity of this is nothing like I have ever felt. It is as if every atom of my being is being shot from the bow of some unimaginable force. From the very moment the song was conceived every part of me has been focused on recording and getting it heard. Every day I have immersed myself into anything Tolkien, listening to the soundtracks constantly, incorporating themes from the books and movies and visualizing this song making its way into the last Hobbit movie coming out in December 2014. I have written every contact I could find, called overseas to the post production houses and studios, yet have received only that no one will listen to unsolicited material. So thus the reason to go to New Zealand is to solicit the shit out of them, personally! I am pursuing every avenue imaginable to find this song’s way to the right ears and will leave no door unknocked.
I journaled a hundred reasons why I am doing this, but in short, I personally feel the stories of Tolkien are some of the most moving tales of prevailing love, courage, friendship, light and magic that humanity has been offered and in the core of my being I desire to be a part of that tale. This song, “There and Back Again” encompasses all those themes and ties the two trilogies together triumphantly. Another reason is that I choose to show my daughter that if someone follows their dreams and works diligently towards them, something wonderful will happen; our dreams will either be made manifest or something greater than we could have ever imagined will happen in their place. All that I have ever wanted to do was help others, especially through my music and that is my absolute purpose in being and in this song particularly. I feel it has a genuine chance, if it is heard. I know the window is small, but my conviction, action and all of my thoughts are bent on making it happen. I am researching publishing companies to send it as well, because a big name soliciting it will get attention. This name will come to me. They are looking for me, as hard as I am looking for them.
The reason for this blog is to be absolutely transparent in my diligent doings on getting this song into the Hobbit, as well I am choosing to chronicle my journey There and Back Again so all may come along for what I feel will be one of the greatest chapters of my life. My goal to get to New Zealand is $4000, yet on my Go Fund Me page I made my goal to include the recording of a new album that will contain two discs full of new music and some older songs revisited. The whole goal including the expenses of going to New Zealand, recording, mixing, mastering, production and promotion of a new cd with “There and Back Again” on it is around $10,000. I would not reach out to anyone with this desire if I had the ability to do this on my own. Over time, I could pull this together, but I am afraid my window to get this song heard may close. They did not have an idea for a closing credit song for the second Hobbit movie until October of last year so I am hoping they are in the same boat once again for this last installment.
I feel extremely blessed by the amount of people who have shared this song and have already donated. To all those people, I want to say thank you from the fullness of my heart. It is very hard for me to ask others for help in this but I know I cannot do it alone. The idea of asking people for money to help with this goal took a lot of prayer, but after much reflection I know this song is worth its chance. I am worth this chance as you are worth your chance at living the ideal of your dreams. I can feel my whole life changing right now and I am riding this magnetism to whatever end (more on this in another blog). One thing for sure, I know something wonderful will come from all of this. This is an absolute. I have never felt so pushed by anything so I know something is awaiting. The journey alone has been teaching me a new ethic in work, action, conviction and faith so in a sense I am already successful because I am learning to love the journey, not the outcome. Though I am ever vigilant, ever rabidly geeked on the seeing “There and Back Again” as the closing credit song in the Hobbit 3!
Community, this means so much to me. You mean so much to me. All I know to do is to share and teach in the best way I know how and this is the highest thing I feel that I can offer the world, to serve. In the writing of this song, I have once again found my voice and purpose musically and I could really use your help in manifesting this goal. To be in the last Hobbit movie would be a dream come true and in every fiber of my being I am exhausting every avenue to make this happen. My loving and supporting community, it would honor me if you would help me along on this quest. Here is my Go Fund Me page. Please take a moment and check out all the rewards and donate to help this wild dream become a reality. May all that you give come back to you ten-fold. Thank you for hearing me, thank you for supporting me and thank you for sharing. Love I You.
This Saturday I will be playing at Elemental Yoga, which will be a fundraiser to help earn the means to accomplish these goals. I will be selling the song “There and Back Again” for a donation of $1-$10,000. Whatever you feel this is worth to you. I will be joined by two wonderful musicians Christin Duke on violin and Joe Vea’nueava on harp, oboe, flutes, bells, harmonium, and many manner of doodads. It is free. Byob. Wine. All Ages. Doors at 7pm. Music at 7:30pm. Elemental Yoga 714 W. Magnolia. Fort Worth Texas 76104. www.elementalyogatherapy.com
I could not help but burst into tears at the site of this sunrise. It felt as if I was watching the clouds transverse over the Misty Mountains of Middle Earth. Everything I had heard about New Zealand was true. I am in awe of such creation and feel as if on this trip, I miraculously stopped in the right places at the right time as a mysterious gravity led me down the most perfect roads. New Zealand had been waiting for me, as much as I had been awaiting her. A quote I have always loved is "What you are seeking is seeking you with the same amount of conviction you push towards it." This is true. Life wants us to succeed, but we only succeed by the conviction of our thoughts and deeds. Whatever we desire and put our whole being into achieving, wants us to achieve it as well, for the mere fact that life desires what we desire. For it is in this achievement that we grow and become more of our actuality.
This trek would have been a little better if the softest grass my feet have had the pleasure of knowing all of a sudden didn't change to a gravel trail with an hour left into the hike. Stopping often to eat from the wild apple trees, I finally made it to the falls close to sunset. The sound was a choir of angels playing in a speed metal band and the color of the water was this aqua blue velvet Elvis jumpsuit. Mind totally blown, i begin walking the trail back. My feet at this point are beginning to puncture open from the gravel, so I begin singing a few mantras i had learned a few earlier in Albuquerque. As I began singing, all the pain in my feet ceased and all was left was the song, the wind in the trees and the waterfall disappearing in my ears. I knew the personal mantra given to me at that retreat was powerful, but now I understood. Music, vibration in harmony with intention has the power to overcome any trial. I could not help but laugh when I finished a mantra and the pain would return to my feet, yet quickly silenced again in a new mantra. Reason number 1,342 why I am a musician. Moving on.
View from the house I am staying at in Honolulu. "Hey, how about we found our city right next to this giant fuckin' volcanic crater? What can possibly go wrong??" 
